During coaching certification participants learn to ask powerful questions. What might get in the way? is one of many questions learned and used by coaches.
When people are asked this question, the most common answer is: me. We get in our own way. What is behind this? Sometimes it is simple laziness or procrastination. What is behind that? What else might be the reason? Often there is fear – a fear of failure or a fear of success. Most commonly the reason or the reason behind the reasons is confidence. Occasionally people are overly confident and more often people lack confidence.
What is the reason for a lack of confidence? An interesting insight moves us toward the answer: most of the time we seek affirmation and confirmation from others or externally. Confidence is actually built internally. During coach training we discuss saying to a client, “be proud of yourself” and “give yourself a pat on the back”. We learn to ask, “when you achieve what you want, what will you say to yourself?” These questions support the client acknowledging themselves which means building confidence internally. As a client acknowledges themselves they learn that it is okay and appropriate to do so which in turn supports ongoing confidence.
With confidence people are able to move past what might get in the way and achieve what they want.