Recently several different clients have faced a similar challenge: over-committing. How does this happen? When people are asked to do something, sometimes they have a hard time saying no. Perhaps they are unsure of how to say no. Sometimes what they are asked to do seems like a great opportunity. In work situations the person asking may be the deciding factor behind the response.
This scenario comes up during coach training also when a student coach has a client facing this challenge. How does the coach learn to help the client create their shift from over-committing to choosing with intention? Coaching certification develops the 11 Core Competencies of a coach and these include presences, listening, and powerful questions. So the coach is present and dancing in the moment with the client. The coach listens to what is said and what isn’t said. The coach asks powerful questions such as:
- What questions do you want to ask yourself before deciding?
- What is your criteria for deciding whether to commit?
- Where will you keep your list of criteria?
- What are your reasons for your criteria?
- What values are in play?
- What commitments do you want to have?
- How will you say no when you choose that answer?
Through powerful questioning a client will develop their personal process for choosing, decide how to ensure they apply the process, and plan how they will give their answer.
