Influence versus Control

Influence versus Control By Paul Kawkabany

Paul Kawkabany – https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-kawkabany-b7b2a811a/Influence versus Control By Paul Kawkabany

One of the most significant questions in our lives that interfere with our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, relations, and tolerance capacity is how much we feel we have control.  What can I control?  What don’t I control?  How controllable are our thoughts?

If I notify you: Don’t think about red apples for 30 seconds, what will represent your initial thought?  Of course, it will be a red apple, and maybe a basket of red apples, as it is really hard to control our thoughts.  This will upset us because we have the idea of controlling our thoughts, instead of directing our thoughts.

Think about how we can influence our way of thinking.  Influencing is not controlling; it is about understanding and embracing these reflections and finding a way to use or convert them in terms of achieving our goals.

During coach training we learned a powerful tool with the affirmation story wherein the client chooses the thoughts they want to focus on and consistently accesses them.  Other methods that we can use to acknowledge our circle of control and circle of influence include making a list, a table, or a journal.  Be sure to organize concerns and where you have influence:

  • Concerns: prices, politics, other people’s actions, war, other people’s opinions, time, confidence
  • Circle of Influence: my words, my actions, my reactions, my schedule

Making these lists will support you to be clear on your consideration.  Define what you want, what you control, and what is possible for you to control, influence, or change.  Then develop your strategies, plan your actions, track your progress, and celebrate your successes.

 

Cathy Liska

For content specific to coach training and coaching, guest blog posts are welcome.

Most blog posts here are written or curated by Cathy Liska, Guide from the Side®, CDP, MCC.

Cathy is CEO/Founder of the Center for Coaching Certification, CCC. As Guide from the Side®, she is a sought-after trainer and coach with over 30 years of experience in business management and ownership. Cathy built her diverse team at CCC that includes trainers, customer service, and coaches. She was Co-Leader for ICF’s Ethics Community of Practice, on the Leadership Team for the review and updating of the Code of Ethics in 2024, and active in the Ethics Water Cooler. To ensure she stays current in related areas of expertise, Cathy has earned the following: ICF’s Master Certified Coach (MCC), Certified Coach Trainer, Certified Consumer Credit Counselor, Certificate of Excellence in Nonprofit Leadership and Management, Grief Support Group Facilitator, Certified in the Drucker Self-Assessment Tool, Certified Apartment Manager, Certified Civil and Family Mediator, and Certified in DISC.

Cathy’s clients range from attorneys to corporate executives, government to nonprofit, entrepreneurs to children, under or unemployed to newly retired. She specializes in communication, management, conflict, and leadership. Her personal mission statement is “People.” Cathy is known for her passion to serve others so they achieve the results they want.

Podcast: https://www.coachcert.com/podcast.html

Publications: Coaching Perspectives (a series of books with chapters by coach training graduates) https://www.coachcert.com/resources/recommended-reading/coaching-perspectives-series-by-the-center-for-coaching-certification-and-more.html

You may also like...