How do I listen?

How do I listen?

Many perceive themselves good listeners.  At the same time, upon observing themselves and reflecting, many also realize their listening leaves something to be desired.  This is normal and it is also worth noticing and changing.

What gets in the way of listening?  Distractions, noise, hurrying, tiredness, thinking about other things, too many talking at once, or a lack of interest.  In addition, as humans, when someone is talking, we may be so focused on our response we miss hearing what they are saying.  Often, we are analyzing the speaker, the message, or how it is being said.  When someone says something that reminds us of our own experience, we get so caught up in remembering our experience we miss hearing what they said. How do I listen?

How can coach training help me listen better?  During coach training we talk about active listening, listening with the intention to understand.  Rephrasing, defined as succinctly summarizing what was said using key words of the other person, is both discussed and practiced.  Reflecting back what is behind the words deepens the practice of rephrasing.  As coaches continue to learn and practice, they use cumulative listening, listening over time and recalling what was said in the past that is applicable now.  Coaches learn to listen on many levels considering context, circumstances, personalities, motivations, etc.

In the same way coach training teaches and develops listening skills, working with a coach who has completed their coaching certification is an opportunity to experience being listened to as well as to observe and learn from listening being modeled.

The benefits of listening, while often forgotten, are also obvious.  It saves time, prevents misunderstandings, enhances communication, improves relationships, and makes life more enjoyable.

 

Cathy Liska

For content specific to coach training and coaching, guest blog posts are welcome.

Most blog posts here are written or curated by Cathy Liska, Guide from the Side®, CDP, MCC.

Cathy is CEO/Founder of the Center for Coaching Certification, CCC. As Guide from the Side®, she is a sought-after trainer and coach with over 30 years of experience in business management and ownership. Cathy built her diverse team at CCC that includes trainers, customer service, and coaches. She was Co-Leader for ICF’s Ethics Community of Practice, on the Leadership Team for the review and updating of the Code of Ethics in 2024, and active in the Ethics Water Cooler. To ensure she stays current in related areas of expertise, Cathy has earned the following: ICF’s Master Certified Coach (MCC), Certified Coach Trainer, Certified Consumer Credit Counselor, Certificate of Excellence in Nonprofit Leadership and Management, Grief Support Group Facilitator, Certified in the Drucker Self-Assessment Tool, Certified Apartment Manager, Certified Civil and Family Mediator, and Certified in DISC.

Cathy’s clients range from attorneys to corporate executives, government to nonprofit, entrepreneurs to children, under or unemployed to newly retired. She specializes in communication, management, conflict, and leadership. Her personal mission statement is “People.” Cathy is known for her passion to serve others so they achieve the results they want.

Podcast: https://www.coachcert.com/podcast.html

Publications: Coaching Perspectives (a series of books with chapters by coach training graduates) https://www.coachcert.com/resources/recommended-reading/coaching-perspectives-series-by-the-center-for-coaching-certification-and-more.html

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