Neuro-Linguistic Programming outlines specific language patterns we all use that limit us because information is deleted, distorted, or generalized.
Excellent coaches hear limiting language patterns and ask questions to open the thinking of clients.
Because there is so much information coming at us from so many different directions, our brain limits how much information is processed. Sometimes this limits the possibilities. For example, when someone says, “this doesn’t work,” the reason it doesn’t work is deleted, which limits exploring how to make it work.
Have you ever heard someone state that someone else made them mad? This distorts the reality that they alone control the emotions. By giving control of one’s own emotion to another with this language, the recognition of ability to control is distorted.
Consider how often the terms never or always are accurate. The coaches heargeneralization limits opportunity for something to be anything else. When someone says, “I can’t,” they limit them self without making an effort because they generalized.
When a client uses limiting language, the coach asks questions to empower the client to explore possibilities. For example, the coach might ask:
* What specifically gives you that impression?
* What did you hear or see to feel that way?
* What if …?
The questions, asked respectfully in a gentle tone, empower the client to think openly.
