What if the client blames everyone else? 
When coaching, the challenge is to shift the focus of the conversation to the future objectives of the client and proactively plan. In some cases clients are simply un-coachable. This may be tied to where they are or what they want. Ultimately it is their choice whether to engage in a coaching relationship. It is also the responsibility of the coach to engage only when it benefits the client. Through a coaching conversation it is possible to engage the client so they focus on what they want and their options. Alternatively through the coaching conversation it is possible that it be determined this is not the right time for coaching for this client.
Foundational Information:
- Coaches are responsible for ending the coaching relationship if it is not benefitting the client.
- When a client is blaming others there is an opportunity for the coaching process to help them decide what they do want then to focus on them self and what they control.
Questions:
- What specifically do they say or do that you are focused on?
- Pretend they have good intentions. What might be behind what they say or do?
- If you were them, what would your considerations be?
- Given that they are not here, what do you want to focus on accomplishing for yourself?
- What do you want it to be?
- What can you control?
- Within the scope of your control, what will you do?
- What are your options for setting appropriate boundaries?
- What happens if you do things the same way as now?
- What happens if you change?
- What change makes sense?
- How do you communicate with them now?
- How do you want to communicate?
- What is your process to begin creating the change?
If a client is focused on blaming others, in some cases it is possible to shift their focus to what they do, what they want, and what they control with the coaching process itself. There are also many situations in which initial resistance to coaching by a client is overcome through exploring coaching, roles, confidentiality, and the opportunity.
