{"id":9850,"date":"2022-11-17T11:01:15","date_gmt":"2022-11-17T11:01:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/?p=9850"},"modified":"2022-09-01T14:10:37","modified_gmt":"2022-09-01T14:10:37","slug":"5-dont-and-do-musts-for-setting-goals","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/5-dont-and-do-musts-for-setting-goals\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Don\u2019t and Do Musts for Setting Goals"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">How goals are defined matters. <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-9851 alignright\" src=\"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/17-Nov-5-Dont-and-Do-Musts-for-Setting-Goals--scaled.jpg\" alt=\"5 Don\u2019t and Do Musts for Setting Goals \" width=\"122\" height=\"183\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/17-Nov-5-Dont-and-Do-Musts-for-Setting-Goals--scaled.jpg 1707w, https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/17-Nov-5-Dont-and-Do-Musts-for-Setting-Goals--200x300.jpg 200w, https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/17-Nov-5-Dont-and-Do-Musts-for-Setting-Goals--683x1024.jpg 683w, https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/17-Nov-5-Dont-and-Do-Musts-for-Setting-Goals--768x1152.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/17-Nov-5-Dont-and-Do-Musts-for-Setting-Goals--1024x1536.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/17-Nov-5-Dont-and-Do-Musts-for-Setting-Goals--1365x2048.jpg 1365w, https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/08\/17-Nov-5-Dont-and-Do-Musts-for-Setting-Goals--40x60.jpg 40w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 122px) 100vw, 122px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ways defining goals limits success:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Negative phrasing \u2013 negative words limit thinking and buy-in to goals which in turn limits success. For example, try, would like, might, need, eliminate, lose, get rid of, or other negative terms.<\/li>\n<li>Defined by what you don\u2019t want \u2013 if you list the things you don\u2019t want \u2013 stress, a long commute, a mean boss, etc. you reenforce what you don\u2019t want which can keep you stuck. Sometimes this is subtle: for example, when you say \u201close weight\u201d you are focused on what you don\u2019t want, the weight you don\u2019t want, which reenforces it.<\/li>\n<li>Focused on the past \u2013 it is impossible to change the past. You can change the future.\u00a0 If your goal is defined as \u201cno longer\u201d your brain hears and focuses on the past problem.\u00a0 Instead, focus on what you want it to be moving forward.<\/li>\n<li>Based on things outside your control \u2013 if your goal is based on someone else doing something or something else happening, then you are in waiting mode instead of taking action.<\/li>\n<li>Externally motivated \u2013 avoiding a consequence or doing something for someone else has short-term value.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Ways defining goals support success:<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li>Positive language \u2013 use <a href=\"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/changing-negatives-into-positives\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">positive<\/a>, confident language. Phrases that work include: will, commit to, planning, on track for, moving toward, doing, etc.<\/li>\n<li>Define what you do want \u2013 when you think about what you don\u2019t want, ask yourself, if you don\u2019t want that what do you want instead? For example, instead of stress you want to be calm, relaxed, or confident.\u00a0 Instead of a long commute you want a 10\u201315-minute commute.\u00a0 Instead of a mean boss you want a boss that values and respects.\u00a0 Instead of losing 50 pounds you want to weight 150 pounds.\u00a0 Be clear on what it is you are moving toward.<\/li>\n<li>Focus on the future \u2013 goals are desired future outcomes. Instead of \u201cno longer eating dessert every night\u201d you are \u201cgiving yourself permission to have dessert once a week.\u201d\u00a0 Instead of \u201cno longer sleeping late\u201d you are choosing to \u201cget up at 6:30 AM starting tomorrow.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Within your control \u2013 you control what you control so set your goals accordingly. Instead of setting a goal for what profession your child chooses, set a goal for how you want to support your child choosing a profession in which they will be happy.\u00a0 Instead of waiting for a promotion, set a goal to increase your likelihood of earning the promotion based on specific actions.<\/li>\n<li>Internally motivated \u2013 be clear on what achieving a goal means to you personally. Completing a project gives you satisfaction, visibility, opportunity, freedom, etc.\u00a0 Focus on the benefits you will experience with your success.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A smart move to support setting goals that work can be engaging with a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/resources\/faqs\/commonly-asked-questions-with-answers.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">coach<\/a>.\u00a0 A coach is your partner and will ask you the questions to ensure you define goals effectively.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How goals are defined matters. Ways defining goals limits success: Negative phrasing \u2013 negative words limit thinking and buy-in to goals which in turn limits &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9851,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[470,471,16,40],"tags":[2016,48,2017,84,148,267,1343,209],"class_list":["post-9850","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-coaching-resources","category-coaching-skills","category-coaching-stories","category-tools-and-techniques","tag-5-dont-and-do-musts-for-setting-goals","tag-coach","tag-defining","tag-goals","tag-language","tag-positive","tag-setting","tag-value","latest_post"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9850","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9850"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9850\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9852,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9850\/revisions\/9852"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9851"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9850"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9850"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9850"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}