{"id":7328,"date":"2017-08-31T11:05:43","date_gmt":"2017-08-31T11:05:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/centerforcoachingcertification.com\/coachingblog\/?p=7328"},"modified":"2025-05-29T18:44:48","modified_gmt":"2025-05-29T18:44:48","slug":"assertiveness-techniques","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/assertiveness-techniques\/","title":{"rendered":"Assertiveness Techniques"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Pete Liska <\/em>https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/peteliska\/<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

Clear, direct language is respectful and a coaching competency<\/a>.\u00a0 During coach training for my Certified Professional Coach certification<\/a>, we learned say what you want and be specific with a question or statement.<\/p>\n

Today I had some work done at the house.\u00a0 The contractor was here hanging a barn-style door. When he was almost complete I noticed a few things.\u00a0 I started the conversation by asking, \u201cDoes the door stop?\u201d because it seemed to want to roll shut on it\u2019s own.\u00a0 He just said yes, and then proceeded to walk out of the house putting his tools up.\u00a0 Asking a closed question failed to get an actual response from him.\u00a0 When he returned into the house, I practiced the \u201cDo say what you want\u201d technique from our coaching certification class.\u00a0\u00a0 I said to the contractor, \u201cIt looks like the door rolls shut on it\u2019s own.\u00a0 Will you adjust the stop?\u201d\u00a0 He said sure.\u00a0 He took his drill and adjusted the door stop so it held the door when open and slowed it for opening or shutting.\u00a0 He finished the adjustment, then opened and closed the door, then asked me to do the same.\u00a0 It was fixed.\u00a0 He also showed me where and how to adjust it myself.\u00a0 Using the \u201cDo say what you want\u201d elicited both a response from him and also an action.<\/p>\n

This example showed the huge difference between a closed question<\/a> (it came across just as a fleeting note) versus specific statement and request.\u00a0 When I asked for exactly what I wanted in a respectful way, the response and outcome was that the request was complied with and I even learned how to do it myself.\u00a0 It worked far better. \u00a0My first closed question and the resulting response irritated me.\u00a0 If I am assertive (which means clear, direct, and respectful), and then I can prevent irritation and it works smoothly.<\/p>\n

When have you found yourself in a similar situation?\u00a0 How does closed question instead of a forthright and specific statement make a difference for accomplishing what you want? \u00a0Being clear and direct is more respectful to everyone.\u00a0 It also means when asking for something you are more likely to get it the first time you ask.<\/p>\n

Coaching certification with the Center for Coaching Certification taught me how to ask open questions and how to be clear and direct.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Pete Liska https:\/\/www.linkedin.com\/in\/peteliska\/ Clear, direct language is respectful and a coaching competency.\u00a0 During coach training for my Certified Professional Coach certification, we learned say … <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[131,470,471,16,40],"tags":[534,114,531,85,86,501,532],"class_list":["post-7328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-coaching-program","category-coaching-resources","category-coaching-skills","category-coaching-stories","category-tools-and-techniques","tag-assertiveness","tag-certified-professional-coach","tag-closed-question","tag-coach-training","tag-coaching-certification","tag-coaching-competencies","tag-open-question","latest_post"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7328"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7328\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12729,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7328\/revisions\/12729"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}