{"id":6459,"date":"2016-03-21T13:01:02","date_gmt":"2016-03-21T13:01:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/centerforcoachingcertification.com\/coachingblog\/?p=6459"},"modified":"2016-02-06T19:00:34","modified_gmt":"2016-02-06T19:00:34","slug":"external-versus-internal-language","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/external-versus-internal-language\/","title":{"rendered":"External versus Internal Language"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong><em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.CoachCert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Internal-v-external-language.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-6463\" src=\"https:\/\/www.CoachCert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Internal-v-external-language-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"internal v external language\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Internal-v-external-language-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/www.coachcert.com\/coachingblog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/Internal-v-external-language-144x144.jpg 144w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>(from <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/151757207X\/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_3?pf_rd_p=1944687502&amp;pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&amp;pf_rd_t=201&amp;pf_rd_i=1468089374&amp;pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&amp;pf_rd_r=0W2EDDAZ8QZ6WPXG3N3X\" target=\"_blank\">Coaching Perspectives V<\/a> \u2013 2 of 11)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Brendan and Kevin played soccer during their middle and high school years.\u00a0 Brendan was a hotshot with the ball and scored most of the goals during games.\u00a0 Brendan was also a solo operator.\u00a0 Kevin was a team player and held the players together on the field, heading the defensive effort.\u00a0 Kevin was an unseen talent.<\/p>\n<p>After a game, teammates told Brendan he did an awesome job and congratulated him on scoring goals.\u00a0 Brendan tended to dismiss what the other players said and instead thought, \u201cI wish I had more support out there,\u201d or \u201cMan I can&#8217;t believe I missed that one goal\u201d instead of hearing what was said.\u00a0 As a result of his internal, negative language focused only on himself, Brendan distanced himself from the team and saw himself as separate.\u00a0 Instead of feeling good about his achievements he got wrapped up in being frustrated.<\/p>\n<p>Kevin\u2019s teammates talked as a group about how the team did well during the game.\u00a0 Comments to Kevin included \u201cgood game\u201d as they left the soccer field.\u00a0 Kevin affirmed what others said in his own mind thinking, \u201cWe have a good team and I like being part of it,\u201d and \u201cI feel like I added value.\u201d\u00a0 Kevin felt good about his contribution and felt good about being a part of the team.<\/p>\n<p>The comments from their teammates were external to each of the brothers.\u00a0 How they thought about what was said and their own thoughts were internal.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Coaching Notes<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ask your clients how they think and feel about what is happening and what they want to achieve.\u00a0 If their response is negative, ask how they want to think and feel.\u00a0 Work with them until they find their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.CoachCert.com\/coachingblog\/coaching-language\/\" target=\"_blank\">positive internal language<\/a>.\u00a0 As a coach the skills of modeling and asking for positive language along with exploring internal motivation are significant in terms of value and impact for clients.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.CoachCert.com\/coachingblog\/coaching-language-for-focus-and-motivation\/\" target=\"_blank\">External motivation<\/a> means doing something for someone else or to avoid a consequence.\u00a0 External motivation has a short term impact.\u00a0 Internal motivation means doing it because of the value personally.\u00a0 Internal motivation has a long term impact.\u00a0 The language used creates negative or positive motivation.\u00a0 Ask clients for their positive, internal motivation.<\/p>\n<p>Hints for Your Research: In a Ted Talk <a href=\"http:\/\/www.ted.com\/talks\/dan_pink_on_motivation?language=en#t-772786\" target=\"_blank\">Dan Pink<\/a> speaks about the science behind intrinsic motivation.\u00a0 Neuro Linguistic Programming describes internal versus external meta programs or thought processes.\u00a0 Studies done by the universities of Illinois and Southern Mississippi state coaches are partners and provide the supportive environment for increased motivation.\u00a0 These university studies state that asking instead of telling makes a difference and this is the foundation of effective coaching.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(from Coaching Perspectives V \u2013 2 of 11) Brendan and Kevin played soccer during their middle and high school years.\u00a0 Brendan was a hotshot with &hellip; 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