Telling Limits

During coach training the biggest paradigm shift for many is that instead of giving advice, helping means empowering people to discover their own answers.

In our society we have this idea that telling works and that people just want the answers.  Often people even say they just want the answer.  Then when given an answer they most often think about it until they find their own answer, discard it, or on occasion test it.  Consider: was the answer really what they wanted?  What is the benefit when people figure out their own answer?

Often teenagers discount the wisdom of their elders and instead find their own way.  This continues throughout adulthood.  While many think telling the answer is helpful, in truth telling interferes with learning, implementation, follow through, growth, and ultimately confidence.

Here is a challenge for you: listen deeply to the conversations around you and consider how much telling is done versus empowering.  Then track the follow through when people are told versus empowered.

Think about. It this way – old school management was to tell.  Ultimately managers were often dictators or micro managers.  It is common knowledge now that at best this is ineffective.  People want the space to work independently.

The growth of coaching and coaching certification is a demonstration of the interest in learning to empower.